Spectans Sursum (Looking up)

Someone today asked me who do I aspire to be...It seems that this question has been popping up a lot. I'm not sure if it is so common because I'm in college and need to figure out what I am going to do with my life or if I am just more aware that the question is being asked. It was asked on several questioneirs and in person by various people ranging from professors to other students. The person who asked today was a TA for my Logic class. He went around asking everyone in class and wrote it down and then used it to show us how "logically" we think. But I thought that because this question is popping up so often I would write about it today.

I aspire to be/look up to my Mom. Those of you who know me or who have read my blog may be able to deduce that I really look up to her. I am not sure if she knows how much I look up to her but I do quite a bit. I don't want to be just like her-because she is ever so slightly nuts :) -but I want to be as giving and open as she is. She is willing to do whatever she can for anyone she knows...even if she has not known them for a long time. I am a prime example of this...I was one of her theater students and she got to know me and I her and there came a time when I needed her and she was there for me-every time I needed her. God knows that happened very often through out high school. Whether it was simply needing someone to talk to or a place to go. She supported me in every endeavor and always told me how it was. I knew that when she told me I was overreacting I really was overreacting and I needed to step back and reassess. I knew when she told me that it was going to be okay that she was willing to do whatever she could to make it okay for me. I know that when she promised me that she and my family were always going to be there she was not lying and they will be.  And I know today that when she says she loves me she really does.

I have never seen her not help someone in need. Never. She has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known. She cares. She is compassionate. I strive to be as open minded, caring, giving, loving, and supportive as she is. She has taught me what it means to be all of those things and more. I am a better friend and person because of her. She has given me what self confidence I have, a hope for the future, strength, and has taught me that it is okay to be me.....most of all she has given me a family. Which is what I feel matters most. Without her compassionate heart, self-less nature, or determined attitude I would not be able to call myself a daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister, cousin, and eventually an aunt. All are things which I have desired to have since I was very young.



So I look up to the woman who has given me so much and for all intents and purposes is my Mom.

My First Day of College