Pummelvision

Oh and here is a video that I made on Pummelvision! I thinks its pretty awesome!

Aeger

I have been sick these past few days and I have been really out of it. I am not much better today but I managed to get in 3 naps, a load of drugs, and a few nice long talks with a few friends. I can not say today was very productive on the homework front though. I have not had the energy to focus on anything except getting better. It really blows to have the flu. I only remember one other time that I had it and I was something like 5 or 6 and really the only thing I remember from that is being really cold the whole time. Absolutely terrible.

Why is it when you are sick everything tastes and smells funny. I really wanted cheddar broccoli soup and i made it but it smelt odd and when I tasted it I was immediately put off. Not fun. So sadly I did not eat my soup.

Here is a crafty picture of my Medicine

Anyway I have little else to say except for I'm going to watch a movie and go to sleep!

Spectans Sursum (Looking up)

Someone today asked me who do I aspire to be...It seems that this question has been popping up a lot. I'm not sure if it is so common because I'm in college and need to figure out what I am going to do with my life or if I am just more aware that the question is being asked. It was asked on several questioneirs and in person by various people ranging from professors to other students. The person who asked today was a TA for my Logic class. He went around asking everyone in class and wrote it down and then used it to show us how "logically" we think. But I thought that because this question is popping up so often I would write about it today.

I aspire to be/look up to my Mom. Those of you who know me or who have read my blog may be able to deduce that I really look up to her. I am not sure if she knows how much I look up to her but I do quite a bit. I don't want to be just like her-because she is ever so slightly nuts :) -but I want to be as giving and open as she is. She is willing to do whatever she can for anyone she knows...even if she has not known them for a long time. I am a prime example of this...I was one of her theater students and she got to know me and I her and there came a time when I needed her and she was there for me-every time I needed her. God knows that happened very often through out high school. Whether it was simply needing someone to talk to or a place to go. She supported me in every endeavor and always told me how it was. I knew that when she told me I was overreacting I really was overreacting and I needed to step back and reassess. I knew when she told me that it was going to be okay that she was willing to do whatever she could to make it okay for me. I know that when she promised me that she and my family were always going to be there she was not lying and they will be.  And I know today that when she says she loves me she really does.

I have never seen her not help someone in need. Never. She has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known. She cares. She is compassionate. I strive to be as open minded, caring, giving, loving, and supportive as she is. She has taught me what it means to be all of those things and more. I am a better friend and person because of her. She has given me what self confidence I have, a hope for the future, strength, and has taught me that it is okay to be me.....most of all she has given me a family. Which is what I feel matters most. Without her compassionate heart, self-less nature, or determined attitude I would not be able to call myself a daughter, granddaughter, niece, sister, cousin, and eventually an aunt. All are things which I have desired to have since I was very young.



So I look up to the woman who has given me so much and for all intents and purposes is my Mom.

My First Day of College

Ode to Life

Around and around a wheel goes, 
following along its everlasting cycle on 
that endless path; a path which calls 
me as if it were meant for me, a song 
sung with the sweetest tunes which fall 
like rain from pregnant clouds 
above, round and round it touches again 
reaching for what will never come. 


They walk to the melody the wheel plays 
day and night, it leads them to the places 
they must go; they go because they know they should, 
they go for it is what is sung to them, they go never 
expecting more than before: an endless world 
ever focused upon what is yet to come. 


The wheel turns and turns, ever turning 
rarely stopping, continuing with little pause, 
it does not consider or wonder; for all who follow do so 
because it is what is sung to them, that sweet rain 
falls upon the faces of all, calling them 
along the path: all are blind to what passes beside them. 


The journey forward is rarely halted or stalled, 
only pushed forward with valor for they are called, 
when the clouds above are emptied of their tune 
the wheel is brought to an arrest: the people look about and are shocked, 
what is laid out before them is vast and beautiful, a new song 
to be listened to; a calm to be had and to be indulged, but all 
too soon the clouds open again and the wheel begins to turn. 


Some remember the new tune sung to them, 
they remember the beauty it possessed and the emotion 
invoked; yet as the wheel continues they 
fall back beside it and listen to its song, the tune falling from 
the once more pregnant clouds to the earth below, ever pushing 
it forward, pushing it to forget beauties song. 

-Jessie Olsen-Stice

Cordis

Have you ever sat back and thought about what protects our hearts? Not the literal heart which pumps blood through your body, but the figurative heart which sits close to your physical heart. The one which allows you to feel emotions whether the emotion be pain, joy, sadness, happiness, love, hate, or contentment. What protects it? Unlike other things (for lack of a better word) which reside in our bodies our "heart" is not something which can be protected by bones, skin, or white blood cells. It is unprotectable in this way...so I ask again, "what protects our hearts?" Can it be our frame of mind? Can it be our life experiences? Or does it simply have its own defenses?

I feel it is a combination of all three of my proposals. How you set your mind up to perceive something does a great deal as to how you feel something. My mind set on various topics effect how I feel in regard to them. In addition I also feel our life experiences set up the foundation for our "heart's" protection. What you have gone through helps shape how you see things and thus how you in turn feel them. And in a round about way one could consider the "heart" has its own defenses which it sets up...based on frame of mind and past experiences. So I think the "heart" is protected by life. From the day you are born to now you have experienced things and done things which have shaped how your heart deals with day-to-day pressures and emotions.

Now, what your heart feels is a different matter. While I think you can train your "heart" to protect itself based on the things you have done and gone through I do not think you can train your "heart" in what it feels. Everyone feels the same things...joy, sadness, happiness, love, hate, mirth, and loathing....everyone of these emotions are universal and are felt by everyone. It does not matter gender, race, religious views, sexual orientation, or age...all feelings are universal. Moreover, you can not tell your "heart" what to feel. It feels on its own accord and will not be swayed because of what you desire or what you have been told or what another person wants you to feel. Your "heart" feels completely on its own without interference from outside itself. It is because of this I think that your emotions are the only true and singular thing about a person. It is the one thing which is not tampered by an outside force. Now while I say this I must say that I am not trying to discount my earlier statement of how feeling is universal. I stand by that statement and I do not say that we are unique in that sense but we are unique in our own ways of how we feel. Not what we feel.

I may be talking in circles because it is so late but this is what was in my head. So I hope you enjoyed.

Alec et Colton

Today's post is about my cousins Alec and Colton.  Alec is 4 months old and is currently in Stormont Vail in Topeka battling with pneumonia and RSV. He and his brother, Colton, have respiratory problems and both receive breathing treatments twice a day and both have been in the hospital this weekend. Alec went to the Burlington hospital on Friday and then was sent by ambulance to Topeka because Burlington did not have what was necessary to care for Alec. Late that night Colton was also brought to the Burlington hospital because he was having similar breathing problems. Colton fought a good fight and was released from the hospital yesterday. Alec is a bit sicker than Colton and is still in the hospital putting up his fight. The doctors say he is going to get worse before getting better but we all have hope that Alec will pull through as strongly and as well as Colton.

Alec William Stice

Please keep my cousin and my family in your prayers as Alec battles his pneumonia and RSV.

I love you, Alec.

Verum

Truth.

What is truth to you? Is it verifiable facts which can be located in a notable text? Is it something you can see and touch? Does it have to be verified by most if not all of the five senses? Is it something that most people agree on? I feel truth is something which each of us have to strive to find on our own and our truth has its own unique way of being real for us. Truth is in some ways very abstract and only we, as humans, can extract the essence of things in ways which make it true for ourselves. Whether we are debating the exact answer to an abstract problem, battling with divine power, the creation of the world, or simply how we feel-our truth is not the same as anyone else's. I derive my truth from how I feel and what makes most sense to me. I don't believe in God because it is the majority consensus or because I am afraid of going to Hell if I don't believe in Him. I believe in Him because I can feel it in my heart and believing is what is right for me. I don't simply accept the fact that 2 plus 2 equals 4 because someone said so, I accept it because I found my own truth in the statement. I verified it in my own manner and because of that I accept the fact and don't dispute it. Likewise, I find truth in my feelings because they are true to me. It does not matter what someone says I should feel or what they feel is right and that I am wrong in my feelings. My feelings may not be your truth but they are mine and mine alone. No matter how many times some disputes what I feel I will not change it based on the fact that I am disagreed with. Furthermore, when I am told that my truth is wrong it makes me want to refute what is said to me all the more. My heart and feelings hold my truth and this will never change.

The book in the picture for today holds a great truth for me. It is the book, 'The Giving Tree' by Shel Silverstein and within its pages I have found a golden actuality. The whole book is about how the tree gives all that she can to the little boy. The tree begins with simply giving the boy her leaves so he can make a crown for himself, then he swings from her branches and eats her apples, and eventually the boy takes all that he can and wants from the tree until the tree is just a stump.  He comes back to the tree when he is an old man and simply just needs a place to sit and the tree is very happy to provide that to him. The tree gave to the boy not because she had to or because that is what was expected--she found in her heart that she loved the boy and wanted to give all that she could to him. She did not gain anything except for the satisfaction of having helped the boy and she knew the boy was happy. This is all she wanted. Now, having said what the tree did I must say that the boy simply took everything he could. Right down to the stump he took everything, but he did not do this in a spiteful way or with just himself in mind. He provided for his family and was very thankful for what the tree gave him. He found his truth in a friend. A friend who never wavered in her friendship and love and loyalty to him. Until the very end they remained together and dependent on each other-for each of them had found truth in the other. I love this story because it reminds me of how very fortunate we all are for having what we have.

In addition to the story held within this book it also holds a personal letter to me from someone whom I respect and love greatly. The letter describes to me just how fortunate I am and it reminds me every day that my truth is still in fact My Truth. I know that no matter where I go nor how far I go I am "never far from people who love and care and support" me. That is my truth. I am loved, cared for, and supported and nothing can or will ever change that. I have my place and I am grateful for everyday which I have had with my family and look forward to all of the time ahead I have with them because I "will forever have a place in my family".

Find your Truth.

Meus Verum